How do we disagree without being disagreeable?

Communication between two people with two opposing viewpoints can make the tension in the room feel like Thanksgiving dinner when someone starts talking about politics!

According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, 69% of problems are perpetual and never go away (from The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). These issues are based on lifestyle choices and personality differences.

So take a sigh of relief! This means your relationship is normal! My husband, Mica, and I bicker often about little things. He gets annoyed when I leave my dental floss in the shower. I always get riled when Mica brings home junk food.

Nevertheless, we have made the decision to find these little annoyances endearing instead of enduring each other.

Here are some tips to help you be more agreeable when you disagree:

1. Watch your tone of voice. A gentle answer is always best. (Proverbs 15:1)

2. Take ownership of your part of the issue. “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)

3. Show respect. Respect is a two-way street. If you want to get it, you have to give it.